Eugene here. The Girl has receded into the fortress walls, hoping to diminish shame and hide for a while in the starkness of The Grey. Sometimes the best thing to do when a war is being waged within is to withhold action until the storm passes.
She spoke tonight of the colors of her youth. How her first memory was of putrid violet-brown flying insects that invaded her unhappy home... but how her second memory was of a paintbrush in her hand and images drawn with a child's innocence and wonder. I listened without judgment, as she steadied herself against a large painted canvas. I dug in my hooves and stowed my wings. I knew what to expect, I'd seen this before...
You see, I've been so busy with Race Training and new recruits that I have not had as much time to check in with The Girl. Imagine my dismay, when I saw her tonight: a new smoldering fire in the green sparkle of her eyes and fresh sadness heavy on her shoulders. She was glowing with familiar emotion but also something that I am not sure I recognize still... might have been excitement and passion, but partly it seemed shame and anger. She talked of missed opportunities, chances never taken, risks avoided and of confidence feigned. I tried to convince her to take flight with me, that a moonlight adventure would restore her spirits, but she gracefully declined, citing the paint on her hands and feet. Then she started singing one of her favorite songs..."Where I live, there's this lady who walks everywhere on her hands... doesn't trust where her feet want to take her..." I remained silent. I simply didn't know what to say. She then spread a deck of cards on the floor, and attempted to guess the location of the Spades.
After watching her feverishly flip cards for a while, The Girl asked me leave her alone. She was pleasant enough in her request that I knew she just wasn't quite ready to fly. However, it would seem that I need to clear my calendar for the foreseeable future to tend to this new chapter of the The Girl's life. The last time I saw The Girl in this Frame of Mind, she attempted to leap from the saddle to the sun.
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